Tired of your brains leaking out of your skull? Does the cold winter chill cause you to turn into a fleshy stalagmite?
Beanies are your answer, my friend. More importantly, THIS beanie is your answer. All other beanies are like, you know... not this one.
Our is the best. This is an objective assessment. The senate has voted and agreed that yes, this Psychostick beanie is the greatest beanie. The senate is never wrong!